Instead of Resolutions
Hello 2019, I hope you are enjoying the New Year. I wanted to take some time to talk about resolutions, and share a bit about why I don’t believe in setting them and have a different approach instead.
As some of you may know (or not know) I overcame my fight with food and my weight about 7 years ago. I used to be resolution obsessed. I would diet or binge my way through the holidays and VOW that this January 1st, I would do things differently. That this would be the year that I would conquer my diet, be done with binging and lose the weight for the FINAL time.
And then I’d get to January 4th or 9th or 10th… and a craving or some stressor would trigger me. And I would completely fall off track with my diet, exercise regime and my weight goals. I’d get so angry at myself. I would feel so disappointed. Sad…frustrated, thinking when will this fight end? I didn’t want to be punishing myself or hurting myself the way that I was, but I had no idea how to stop it. I thought because I could not succeed on my diet that there was something wrong with ME.
I had no willpower.
I had no control.
And that I was meant to just struggle and be alone forever.
This wasn’t true. This wasn’t the case at all, but I was convinced of it at the time because I had no idea why I was binging, dieting and so desperate to be a certain weight and in such a fight with myself. How do you know what to do with something that seems so overwhelming to deal with?
I didn’t. I had no clue.
I did know one thing … this was not the way I wanted to live my life. I was not meant to keep repeating this vicious cycle, but I feared what change looked like. I feared what life would look like without all the suffering, and food as my crutch. What would I do if I couldn’t diet and focus on weight? Who would I be without my addiction and self-sabotaging behaviors? It was scary to think about because I had created such an identity around food, fear, low self-worth, control and fear of losing control. I was obsessed with trying to have the perfect body, and as we know perfectionism just does not exist.
Perfectionism, I believe, can really make us feel sick physically, mentally and emotionally because we are striving for something that will never exist, that we will never be able to maintain.
But all this perfectionism, New Year’s diet and exercise hype and hopping on the resolution bandwagon keeps fueling the same January 1st goals that everyone keeps failing over and over.
This year I want something different for you. I want to take a stand for those who are ready for a different approach and are craving a different outcome other than continuing to fail and suffer in overwhelm or exhaustion.
My first question for you is, what has influenced your “resolution”?
Why do you need to set a resolution? Why does this time of year have to count for so much? I think it’s possible for one to take action on their health and well-being anytime of the year and that it doesn’t have to be set to this New Year calendar change.
Do you have a belief that if you don’t do it now that you have to wait until next January? I feel like the pressure is really put on at this time of year because it’s a New Year. I think this is unnecessary pressure that you need to take off yourself.
Perhaps January is the time, or March or July, or December with weeks left of the year. I have different clients reach out every month of the year declaring they are ready for transformation, it really depends when you want to take action with transformation.
So my first recommendation is… Take the pressure off January 1st.
It’s just a day, like today is another day, this realization may help you take the gravity, meaning, hype and bandwagon out it, and take the pressure off.
My second recommendation is…Start with a couple of small action steps that are achievable.
What’s the rush? I highly recommend to take your time on your health journey and focus on small steps. Small steps equate to the big picture, and focusing on taking your journey one step at a time is so empowering and builds a solid foundation.
Start with things like mastering your hydration, scheduling small self-care breaks through your day or unplugging from technology 15-30 minutes before bed. Make that your focus of the month, and set yourself up for success.
Once one intention is achieved, then pick something else that you can weave in. This helps you build trust, excitement and confidence that you can achieve your goals.
This helps you build a solid foundation that is positive, and the more positive of a mindset you have, the kinder you are to yourself.
My third, and most impactful recommendation is…stop dieting, and get to the root of why you have been in a diet mentality. Is it because you believe you need to be a certain weight to be happy? Is it because you’ve been told you need to diet? Or is it because you struggle with emotional eating and feel a diet is the only way to make up for over eating and gaining weight?
Understanding your diet mentality will give you so much awareness about your relationship with food and your body. It will also help you to identify if you have a perfectionist “all or nothing” mindset which essentially means you’re either all in doing 100% with your diet, or all out falling off the wagon.
I’d say about 95% of the women I talk to in private consultations share with me that no kind of diet approach has worked. And therefore they keep struggling with health issues, weight and emotional eating. When I ask the question, “Have you tried the self-love approach and focusing on a healthy relationship with food and your body?” 100% of those women have said no. I think this is such a powerful place to focus your time and energy. This is because, and I cannot emphasize this enough, when you build a solid foundation with your relationship with food, you build body love and respect and you balance your physical health, you gain peace for life. You are equipped with the tools to transform your reality forever. That means no more diets, calorie counting, restriction, binging, or anything extreme every again.
Instead you have more energy to focus on being PRESENT, enjoying every moment that life has to offer. You get to enjoy nourishing your body with a huge variety of foods and also balance that out with mindful indulgence. How would it feel for you to be able to enjoy a dessert mindfully and move on without the guilt? It’s such an empowering and peaceful feeling.
So I highly encourage you to ditch your resolutions and restraints and set small intentions instead.
The beauty of taking off time limits and restraints is when you are on that new health journey, January 1st is just a day. It no longer means time to start that diet or crazy exercise routine. It also doesn’t mean now that you can’t eat certain foods for months. I want you to feel empowered, and I want you to have habits and body awareness that last you a lifetime. This leaves you free of feeling pressured to go to New Year’s resolutions, diets and quick fixes that will leave you feeling frustrated, tired and upset if they aren’t achieved.